A Conversation with Sirius Black
by BlackBells
Summary: A dead Sirius speaks to those he never got the opportunity to talk to: James, Remus, Harry, Molly. And of course, dear old mum. Oneshot. A testament to the greatest character Rowling ever created!


This is a onshot from Sirius' P.O.V. after his death, kind of like someone looking back at his life and looking on at what Harry and everyone is doing. I cried when Sirius died, he was my favourite character (hence the pen name), and I don't think he really got an opportunity to say lots of things. It's a conversation with himself, and with others. It's designed both as a tribute to Sirius as a character, as well as showing his personality quirks and a bit of his life and the relationships he had with people.

I'm thinking of either making this into a story with separate chapters as a tribute to all those who have died over the series (e.g. A Conversation with Lupin, Fred, Dumbledore, etc). Or I may write a separate oneshot story for each of them. I feel like they deserve some sort of tribute. Let me know what you think about this.

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A Conversation with Sirius Black

Well, it's over now. I'm sure some of them are thinking _well, great, he can no longer lead us on wild goose chases and complain about being locked up while we do all the fighting and exciting stuff!_ Well, in a sense, I'm relieved too. My life hasn't exactly been the greatest. But it was a pity to go at a time when it was just getting started again. Many people told me I made the mistake of thinking Harry was James. That's not true. It's just, the only time I really _really_ felt alive was when I was with James and the Marauders back at Hogwarts. Harry and his friends reminded me of what it was like back then. They obviously weren't as foolish as us, though!

Ahh…James. Finally I can see you again, it's been too long. After you died I think I catapulted full throttle into a black hole. I felt so…empty. You were always there, my best mate, my partner in crime. You may have insulted me constantly, although I too gave you nothing but grief about Lily Evans! Although I must say, I was so thrilled when you finally got her. Of course, not at first. I lost a heck of a load of money on that! What can I say but I am so terribly sorry that you didn't get to spend the rest of your life with her and Harry. You met your end too soon – both of you. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. You didn't even get to know your own son. I feel somewhat guilty that I reveled in the opportunity to spend time with Harry, when you yourself never got that chance. But I must say, you two made one fantastic guy. If there's one person I miss most it's him. So much like you, as everyone says, but I guess without that streak of, what did they used to say to you? Ah, that's right – "pride and independence." I love you mate. And don't ever call me gay ever again. We both know I slept with far too many girls.

Lily: With all the time I have now, I've made a list of everything you've ever called me. I have a feeling it's still not finished. Manwhore, selfish git (along with selfish and git as separate one-word insults), idiot, imbecile, egotistical, self-centered, self-absorbed, moron, animal, sex-obsessed, gay man (that was quite a poor one, admit it)…wait, this list could apply to James as well. Although, I had better hair. Come on! You know you loved it. Secretly, you wanted me, didn't you…Okay I sense a yelling fit coming on – I'M JOKING!!! But seeing as I'm being serious here, I wish I had the opportunity then to say how much you meant to me. I know we teased you mercilessly, and you had to put up with all those pranks for all those years…(ah, how I miss them)…but I know that deep down you had a special place for us, and I guess we did too. By we, I mean me and Remus. We all know that James had a special place for you somewhere else as well. Joking! Well, you know it's true. Anyway, like James your time came too soon. I wish you could have known your son. You would have been so proud. Of his bravery, his courage, his kindness and the friendship and loyalty he shows to others. He certainly took after you in that regard. His hair definitely comes from James.

Well, Harry. God, I loved you like a son. And despite being simply a godfather, I feel as though somehow we were connected by blood. If I could see you know, I would tell you I'm sorry for giving up on you. I feel as though I didn't try hard enough, or that perhaps I was too rash. I was always putting people in danger, and myself, I could never get enough action. I think it was probably something to do with avenging your parents. I still can't bear thinking about what happened. But I knew that you had it in you to do it. Selfish person that I am, I almost hoped that you would choose to go on, when you had the chance, and you could be with me, and meet your parents finally. I know you probably had that temptation too. But you made the right decision. I wish I could tell you that. But I'm sure you know. Now, you can grow up and know peace and not fear for your life, as your parents did. You will have enemies, wherever you go, but you will have friends most importantly. And your choice meant that they, and the rest of the wizarding world, were protected. You chose above your own desires and chose what you knew you must do. And I cannot think of anything more admirable. I'd also just like to say, good on you mate! Ginny's a great catch!

Remus: Oh my good friend, I cannot possibly leave you out of this. I went before you, and yet I feel as though my death was more deserved. I was the reckless one. I went in search of danger and adventure. You were sensible, clear-headed and…well, sane. You thought before you did things. You didn't deserve to die. It reminded me of Harry's parents – you and Tonks, with poor little Teddy. But I know that he will grow up under Harry's care, and around people who care for him. I'd just like to say that I never really appreciated you enough. There were many times I used to get snarly with you, when you'd try and talk me and James out of our 'fun.' But you knew what was right and you grew up before us I think. Well, maybe you were always that little bit more…mature. But we loved you like a brother. You know we did.

To Molly: I know I drove you up the wall. I'm sorry. I know you honestly couldn't stand me sometimes. But, like everyone else, you had a soft spot for me. We all know I'm irresistible after all! I wish I could have given you an apology. I feel somehow I was a bad influence on Harry, making him more reckless than he normally would have been. I know you blamed me in part for some things. I don't blame you for that, I know that I have not been perfect. But I tried. Everything I did was to avenge Harry's parents, or to protect others. I have never been selfish, that I can say. If I could speak to you now, I would tell you I am deeply sorry for your loss. Fred was a fantastic guy. He and George, in fact, remind me somewhat of myself and James at their age. Which I know you wouldn't appreciate. But he was a good guy. They always helped out anyone, even if it sometimes hindered to a greater degree. They were the life and soul of the family, and I know that you, your husband and children will never be the same after his death.

There are so many things I want to say, but can't bring myself to. So many memories, both good and bad. I daresay I will never speak of Azkaban to anyone. No one really knew me directly before I went there, and so they didn't comprehend how much I'd changed as a result of what happened there. The most I will say is that it changed me as a person to such a degree that I was almost a completely different person. James, rest his soul, hardly recognises me now. I suppose I have become colder, more sarcastic, less inclined to view the positive aspects of life. Yet, I never stopped fighting. I think I believed, or at least hoped, that things could change. And they have, but too late for me.

I am glad that there were some who realised that I did not betray Lily and James. That I was not the cause of their deaths. That I was never a follower of the Dark Lord. If it's one thing that makes me want to cry, it is the fact that so many people still consider me a criminal, a murderer, and, most of all, a betrayer. Of his best friend's trust and life. If there is one thing I would like them all to know, it is that I am an honest man of integrity. I may have been a Marauder but I the first Gryffindor in a long line of Slytherins. A blood traitor. A man with a best friend, who loved him so much he would have done anything to keep him and his family safe. Who failed. And then tried to avenge him. I would like to think my death was not in vain. I'm not sure if it was. At least I died fighting, I would rather have died that way than have died at the hands of a death eater in my own home. I was fighting for freedom, and for peace. And for revenge. I guess you could say I was fighting for love. The love of a brother and his son.

There is one more person I'd like to say something to.

Mother: Yep, I'm still me. Your favourite treacherous son. Look how I turned out. Terribly, I know. I deserted the dark lord and the pure bloods and fought on the side of justice and freedom. How can you forgive me? Ha! My greatest consolation is that I died fighting against the very thing you stood for. That's what makes my death just that little bit sweeter.

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**Well, I don't know what you thought. Let me know! And tell me if I should do others! **


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